21 week picture!! Is he a low rider or what?! I think bigger than the pic three weeks ago, definitely a bit of a funny shape!

I just came across where someone had a link to a baby guessing game, so I went and set one up as well. :-) Take a look here: http://www.expectnet.com/games/LaFayette and see if you can guess correctly! It's point based, so they determine a winner depending on how well you do on the questions.

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Okay, now a WARNING to all you pregnant ladies, this could make you cry a bit. It is baby related, but I personally found it very upsetting. Hence my writing, I need to get it off my chest. Last night I was so upset that when Jimmy asked me how my day had been I broke down and bawled for almost an hour... he was so sweet, he just hugged me and let me talk and cry, and told me I wasn't at all silly for being upset, which was just what I needed. He is such an amazing guy, I am so lucky to have him!
So on the Two Week Wait forum I'm on there was a post last week from a lady who is only two days further along than I am... which really bothers me, since her baby is only two days older than mine. She went in for a 20 week scan and the Doctors (this is in the U.K.) told her her baby had a heart defect, can't recall the name but it's a pretty serious condition. They said although he's fine now, his heart could deteriorate over the next 4.5 months, and he might not make it through to birth, and if he did he would require a number of major surgeries. Basically, he had a 10% survival chance, and they gave her the option of "terminating". She came home to think and post (yeah, no prayer there), and everyone on the forum begged her not to do that, to wait and see and give the baby a chance. After all, at 20 weeks you can only see so much! I mean, we're talking a heart the size of a dime here! They could be wrong, they could be giving a worst case scenario, and things could improve immensely by 40 weeks! Not only that, but there are surgeons in the US who can operate on that condition with a 50% success rate! And there are so many women here who were willing to host her in their home for the baby to get the surgeries, and ways to help with the cost. She said though that she didn't want to go through the pain of possibly loosing him, the pain of surgery, and she wanted it all over with as soon as possible because she could feel him kicking and it made her feel bad... what about the baby's pain? I was horrified, but hadn't seen the post until after she made her decision to take the pill. She did that Sunday, and she was supposed to go into "labor" on Wednesday. I prayed so hard for that baby, hoping something would happen, she'd change her mind and give that baby a chance- I can't believe a mother could do that to her baby! I know a lot of women who would gladly carry that baby for the next 20 weeks knowing all that, to give that baby a chance! I cannot imagine killing my baby boo because he had a heart defect.... I kept hoping the pill wouldn't work, that her baby would be okay. Meanwhile, the little heartrate blinkie on her profile was blinking away, and I kept watching it when I'd see her posts, hoping against hope the baby would live. Wednesday morning (our time), she finally posted.... to say that she'd gone into labor and delivered her baby boy after four hours. He was perfect, weighing a pound even, and he was breathing and his little heart was beating. He was even moving... and they got footprints for her for her certificate so she can show people the "little boy we lost", and pretend to grieve over something "that could not be helped".... hoping for another time when she could have a pregnancy that wouldn't end in "trouble". Meanwhile, they let him die like that, and took him off for a postmortem. And her blinkie changed from a beating heart to a smilie face with wings... her little "angel baby", she'll call him. How could she not even give him a chance, even if it is only 10%? Most likely that is only a CYA number anyhow! He was obviously healthy enough to survive the pill she took in her first attempt to kill him, since his heart was still beating at birth. He deserved to come into this world to love and protection, not to parents to did this just to make him die and then let him lay there and expire without even an effort at helping him! And when I feel my baby kick I think of hers, only a two day difference and yet mine is alive.... she called hers a "miscarrige"... as though it was an accident. As though it wasn't socially acceptable murder. What have we sunk to that a woman can not only do that and get away with it, but it is encouraged? I thought things like that made me upset before I got married and became pregnant, but it is so much worse now. Mothers, of all people in the world, ought to do everything in their power to protect their baby. And she knew full well it was a baby, she even named him and has his footprints! Those unique little footprints of a baby boy who was never given a chance at life... and his Father, who stood by and let it all happen, who helped his wife murder their child. Yes, sin is always ugly, but at the very bottom of depraved nature is a mother who kills her child while the father stands by and helps. So poor Jimmy came home to a wife who cried for almost an hour over a baby she never met. He held me and comforted me and didn't get to bed until late because he cared and knew it was important to me. And I realized again how amazingly fortunate I am to have married a man who is so understanding, who didn't brush it off or tell me I was silly. And a man who would give his own life to save that of his baby, even if he's only 21 weeks old and even if it turns out he has a life threatening deformity. A man who understands fully that he will not "become a Father" in December, he has been one since March. A man who is going to put his family first, whatever that means for him. So after I finally cried myself out, later in the evening we were reading the Bible together and came across these verses in Hosea 9:13-14 "But Ephraim shall bring forth his children to the murderer. Give them, O Lord: what wilt thou give? give them a miscarrying womb and dry breasts."
It did make me wonder... I was asking Siobhan the other day if she thought maybe the increase in infertility nowdays is maybe linked to immunizations as well. But now I wonder if there is another reason. Maybe there are so many miscarrying wombs and dry breasts because so many women bring their children to the murderer.
I still can't think about it without tearing up, and haven't been able to look at any of her posts. Baby boo is kicking as I write this, and I love him so much, it just hurts to think of her baby. Both boys, both healthy and kicking, and only two days apart...
Anyhow, I didn't dare talk to anyone until after I cried it out to Jimmy, and hopefully now I didn't upset anyone else too much. I did warn you! ;-) So there's my post, and the next one should be much more cheerful!